1. Accept your child's limitations.
Parents should not expect to eliminate the hyperactivity but just keep it
under reasonable control. Hyperactivity is not intentional. Any undue criticism
or attempts to change your child into a quiet child or "model child" will
cause more harm than good. You must accept the fact that your child is
intrinsically active and energetic and possibly always will be. Nothing is
more helpful for the hyperactive child than having a tolerant, patient, low-key
parent.
2. Provide outlets for the release of excess
energy.
This energy can't be bottled up and stored. These children need daily
outside activities such as running, sports, or long walks. A fenced yard
helps. In bad weather, your child needs a recreational room where he can
do as he pleases without criticism. If no large room is available, a garage
will sometimes suffice. Although the expression of hyperactivity is allowed
in these ways, it should not be needlessly encouraged. Adults should not
engender rough-housing with these children. Siblings should be forbidden
to say "Chase me, chase me!" or to instigate other noisy play. Rewarding
hyperactive behavior leads to its becoming your child s main style of interacting
with people.
3. Keep the home existence
organized.
Household routines help the hyperactive child accept order. Keep
mealtimes, chores, and bedtimes as consistent as possible. Predictable responses
by the parents to different daily events help the child become more
predictable.
4. Try to avoid fatigue in these
children.
When your child is exhausted, self-control often breaks down and the
hyperactivity becomes extreme.
5. Avoid formal
gatherings.
Settings where hyperactivity would be extremely inappropriate and
embarrassing should be completely avoided. Examples of this would be church,
restaurants, etc. Of lesser importance, the child can forego some trips to
stores and supermarkets to reduce unnecessary friction between the child
and parent. After the child develops adequate self-control at home, these
activities can gradually be introduced.
6. Maintain firm
discipline.
These children are unquestionably difficult to manage. They need more
careful, planned discipline than the average child. Rules should be formulated
mainly to prevent harm to the child or others. Aggressive behavior and
manipulative behavior should be no more accepted in the hyperactive child
than in the normal child. Unlike the expression of hyperactivity, aggressive
behavior should be eliminated. Also, rules to prevent the destruction of
important property should be in effect. Unnecessary rules should be avoided.
These children tolerate fewer rules than the normal child. The family needs
a few clear, important rules, with other rules added at the child s own pace.
Parents must avoid being after the child all the time with negative comments
like "Don t do this" and "Stop that."
7. Enforce discipline with nonphysical
punishment.
The family must have an "isolation room" or "time-out place" to back
up their attempts to enforce rules, if a show of disapproval doesn t work.
This room can be the child s bedroom. The child should be sent there to "shape
up" and allowed out as soon as he has changed his behavior. Without an isolation
room, overall success is unlikely. Physical punishment should be avoided
in these children since we want to teach them to be less aggressive, rather
than make aggression acceptable. These children need adult models of control
and calmness.
8. Stretch your child's attention
span.
Rewarding nonhyperactive behavior is the key to preparing these children
for school. Increased attention span and persistence with tasks can be taught
to these children at home. The child can be shown pictures in a book; and,
if he is attentive, he can be rewarded with praise and a hug. Next the parent
can read stories to him. Coloring of pictures can be encouraged and rewarded.
Games of increasing difficulty can gradually be taught to the child, starting
with building blocks and progressing eventually to dominoes, card games,
and dice games. Matching pictures is an excellent way to build a child s
memory and concentration span. The child s toys should not be excessive in
number, for this can accentuate his distractibility. They should also be
ones that are safe and relatively unbreakable.
9. Buffer the child against any overreaction by
neighbors.
If your child receives a reputation for being a "bad kid," it is important
that this doesn t carry over into his home life. At home the attitude that
must prevail is that the child is a "good child with excess energy." It is
extremely important that the parents do not give up on this child. He must
always feel accepted by his family. As long as he has acceptance, his self-esteem
and self-confidence will survive.
10. Periodically get away from it
all.
Parents must get away from the hyperactive child often enough to be
able to tolerate him. Exposure to some of these children for 24 hours a day
would make anyone a wreck. When the father comes home, he should try to look
after the child and give his wife a deserved break. A babysitter two afternoons
a week and an occasional evening out with her husband can salvage an exhausted
mother. A preschool nursery or Head Start class is another option. Parents
need a chance to rejuvenate themselves.
courtesy of H. Winter Griffith, M.D.
