Not so, say the experts. Habits, even those parents believe are disgusting, are usually normal behaviors. In fact, habits play an important role in all of our lives and we could not function as a society without them.

"A habit is without thought and performed automatically," according to Dr. Herb Goldstein, St. Petersburg psychologist. "Habits are something we learn and once established are difficult to break." Dr. Goldstein goes on to explain that most habits are essential in our daily work. For example, driving a car, brushing our teeth every morning, and hopefully, buckling our seat belt, are all habits.

Why do children suck their thumb or twirl their hair? Since these habits are soothing and relaxing, infants going off to sleep quiet themselves by stroking the corners of a blanket, twirling their hair, holding a cuddly stuffed animal, or sucking the always available thumb. What starts out as a helpful habit develops into an automatic behavior which is sometimes used when children are upset, frustrated, bored, anxious, or require reassurance. The fact that infants have been seen sucking their thumbs even before delivery should reassure parents that this habit is not a sign of bad parenting.

Most of these relaxing behaviors occur at different ages.Thumb sucking is most often seen in the young infant and through early childhood. It is estimated that nine out of ten infants suck their thumb at some time in early life, and 15% continue after age four. About one third of all children between age six and puberty bite their nails. Hair twisting can begin during infancy, and in about 10 percent of children it can become a habit during the school years.

It is important for parents with a child who is sucking their thumb or pulling their hair is to ask themselves who the behavior bothers. If the habit is not interfering with the important aspects of your child’s life, then parents should relax and back off. "For the vast majority of thumb-suckers, nail biters, hair twirlers, the habit is harmless," comments Dr. Goldstein. "It will pass as the child learns more socialized or subtle ways to reduce tension," he explained.

Unfortunately, parents are frequently admonished by well meaning relatives and friends to do something about the child’s "disgusting habit." Parents sometimes resort to punitive methods, such as painting the thumb with bitter substances or severely punishing the child. This sort of "treatment" can hurt the youngster and do more harm than good. If a child gets the idea that you dislike the habit so much, they may suck their thumb or bite their nails simply to gain negative attention. Scolding, slapping the hand, or continually pulling the thumb out of the mouth can only make your child more adamant. In addition, it is important not to reward your child for trying to break their habit. Star charts and other well-meaning attempts at behavior modification usually do not work in stopping involuntary habits. Furthermore, if you turn the issue into a showdown, parents ordinarily lose, since the thumb, fingers, and hair belong to the child and not the parents.

Sometimes a child’s habit will stop because of peer pressure rather than parental insistence. When the children at school tease the thumb-sucker, ask the hair twirler about their bald spots, or comment negatively about the nail biter's funny fingernails, most children will motivate themselves to stop their habit.

The best approach to weaning a youngster from thumb sucking may be a pediatric dentist. These specialists have a variety of approaches to thumb sucking, and can design an in-mouth retainer to make thumb sucking uncomfortable. This appliance does not cause the child any discomfort and may spare parents the eventual economic pain of expensive orthodontic treatment.

Ignoring the habit is the best "treatment" unless it interferes with peer relationships or causes dental abnormalities. Child Psychologist Patrick Friman recommends "declaring a one-month moratorium on the matter allowing your child to suck their thumb or bite their nails to their heart’s content. This will diffuse the situation and many times the behavior stops on its own."