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| Quick reference medical handouts used
by Pediatric offices |
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Replenish thyself: Steering clear of parent burnou
By Ann Douglas
You wouldn’t dream of heading out on a lengthy road trip with your car’s gas
tank running on empty. Odds are you’d run out of fuel long before you ever
reached your destination. And yet we parents are often guilty of allowing our
parenting reserves to run on empty for far too long—something that puts us at
risk of parent burnout.
If you are no longer getting a lot of enjoyment
out of parenting or are experiencing persistent feelings of resentment towards
your children, you may be experiencing parent burnout. Other symptoms of parent
burnout include irritability, anger, frustration, sadness, emptiness, and
exhaustion. There can be physical symptoms, too, including difficulty sleeping,
difficulty concentrating, headaches, backaches, gastrointestinal problems,
lethargy, cardiovascular problems, and skin conditions.
Once you’re battling parent burnout, how do you turn the situation around? By
taking better care of yourself, that’s how. Here are a few suggestions.
- Set the parenting bar high, but not too
high, for yourself.
Parents with perfectionist tendencies are at higher risk for burnout.
There’s no such thing as perfection when it comes to the art and science
of childrearing, so cut yourself some slack and you’ll find parenting a
whole lot more enjoyable, and you’ll be less likely to burn out.
- Don’t try to do it all.
Unless you want to start looking and sounding like Bree on Desperate
Housewives, let some of the non-essentials go. Who says you have to keep
your house immaculate, serve up gourmet dinners, and otherwise shoot for
perfection in every area of your life? None of us can do it all. Most of us
find that we have to let some things go in order to have the time and energy
to invest in parenting. The moral of the story? Don’t feel like a failure
just because you’ve taken in a few dust bunnies as tenants.
- Don’t let multitasking make you crazy.
While time management gurus like to talk up the benefits of doing five
things at once, living life at hyper speed can leave you feeling five times
as stressed at the end of the day—and only one-fifth as happy. Besides,
some tasks, like reading a bedtime story to a preschooler or breastfeeding a
baby, can’t be done in the fast-lane, even if you wanted to. Don’t be
afraid to slow your life down to a saner pace.
- Put your parenting support team in place.
Connect with other moms and dads who can offer you support and encouragement
as you tackle the mother—and father—of all challenges: raising kids.
- Finally, give up on that crazy notion that
says that “good parents” have to be on duty 24/7.
Sometimes taking a brief timeout from the mommy or daddy trenches is the
greatest gift you can give to your kids. If taking that break leaves you
feel relaxed and renewed and ready to give parenting your all again, don’t
you owe it to your family to take that break?
Ann Douglas is the author of The Mother of All
Parenting Books (Wiley, 2003) and numerous other books about pregnancy and
parenting. You can contact her via her website at
www.anndouglas.ca. Posted 03-28-06 on kidsgrowth.com
As a reminder, this information should not be relied on as
medical advice and is not intended to replace the advice of your child’s pediatrician.
Please read our full disclaimer.
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