Purpose of Time Out
Time-out means time out from positive reinforcement (rewarding
experiences). It is a procedure used to decrease undesirable behaviours.
The main principle of this procedure is to ensure that the individual in
time-out is not able to receive any reinforcement for a particular period
Time Out Area
The time-out area should be easily accessible, and in such a location
that the child can be easily monitored while in time-out. For example, if
most activity takes place on the first floor of the house, the time-out area
should not be on an upper floor. A chair in the corner of the dining room
is an excellent spot. Placing a kitchen timer on the table is a good way
to keep the child informed of how much time he has left to serve.
Amount of Time Spent in Time Out
Generally, it is considered more effective to have short periods of
time-out, 5 to 10 minutes, rather than to have long periods, such as half
an hour to an hour. Children can fairly quickly begin to use their imagination
to turn a boring activity into an interesting one. Children from 2 - 5 years
old should receive a 2 to 5 minute time-out. A 6 year old child should probably
receive about a 5 minute time-out while a 10 year old child would receive
a 10 minute time-out. A general guideline can be: 6-8 years of age, 5 minutes;
8-10 years of age, 10 minutes; 10-14 years of age, 10 to 20 minutes. Some
double the time-out period for such offences as hitting, severe temper tantrums,
and destruction of property. (Note: ADHD children may benefit from shorter
times than those suggested above).
Specifying Target Behaviours
It is very important the child be aware of the behaviours that are
targeted for reduction. They should be very concretely defined: for example,
hitting means striking someone else’s with the hand or an object, or
coming home late means arriving home any time after 5:00 p.m.
Procedures for Time Out
When a child is told to go into time-out, a parent should only say,
"Time-out for...." and state the particular offence. There should be no further
discussion. Use a kitchen timer with a bell. Set the timer for the length
of the time-out and tell the child he must stay in time-out until the bell
rings. While in time-out, the child should not be permitted to talk, and
the parent should not communicate with the child in any way. The child also
should not make noises in any way, such as mumbling or grumbling. He or she
should not be allowed to play with any toy, to listen to the radio or stereo,
watch television, or bang on the furniture. Any violation of time-out should
result in automatic resetting of the clock for another time-out period.
It is important that all members of the household be acquainted with
the regulations for time-out, so that they will not interfere with the child
in time-out in any way, for example, by turning on the radio.
Strategies for Handling Refusal or Resistance
While time-out works well, it can only work when the child actually
serves the time out. There are a number of ways to handle refusal. None of
them will work of all children. You may have to experiment to determine which
one will work for your child.
Tell younger children that you will count to three and if they are
not in time-out when you get to three the time-out will be doubled. Very
difficult children, such as those with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
or Oppositional Defiant Disorder, may need to be placed on a short reward
program. This could include a chart with 20 to 30 squares. Each time a child
does a time-out, the child gets a star or sticker on the chart. When the
chart is full they can earn a special treat for learning how to do
Use response cost. Select an activity or object you can take away.
Tell the child that until they do the time-out, they will not be able to
use the object or engage in the activity. For instance, you can remove the
cord from the TV and tell them that they may not watch TV or play a video
game until they do the time-out.
Alternatives to Time Out
Children 10 and over may decide they are "too big" for time-out because
"it is for babies." Here are some other negative consequences that have been
successful in reducing inappropriate behaviour. Tell the child that each
time he displays the inappropriate behaviour, he will have to write sentences
to remind him of how he should behave. For instance, every time you talk
back you will have to write, " I will talk nicely and show respect to my
parents." The first time this happens on a given day the sentence is written
5 times. If this does not help them remember then the next time the sentence
is written 10 times. The number is increased by 5 or doubled (depending on
the age of the child) each time the behaviour occurs on that day. The next
day the first occurrence receives 5 sentences.
Remove privileges or objects that you can control. Make a list of
privileges or objects (TV, ride bike, stay up late, go outside and play,
etc.). Tell the child that each time the undesirable behaviour occurs, one
item will be crossed of the list for that day. Each day the procedure starts
Advantages of Time Out
It is less aversive than other procedures, such as physical punishment.
It eliminates a lot of yelling and screaming on the part of the parents.
It increases the probability that parents are going to be consistent about
what is going to be punished, when and how. The child learns to accept his
own responsibility for undesirable behaviour.
The parents are not punishing the child; rather the child is punishing
himself. The child should be repeatedly told that the parents did not put
him or her in time-out but that the child put himself in time-out. The child
more readily learns to discriminate which behaviours are acceptable and which
are unacceptable. The child begins to learn more self-control. By keeping
a written record of time-outs parents can see if the procedure is reducing
the targeted behaviour. Also, reward can be tied to only receiving a certain
amount of time-outs in a day or a smaller time period.
Guidelines For Parental Discipline
Never disagree about discipline in front of the children.
Never give an order, request, or command without being able to enforce
it at the time.
Be consistent, that is, reward or punish the same behaviour in the
same manner as much as possible.
Agree on what behaviour is desirable and not desirable.
Agree on how to respond to undesirable behaviour.
Make it as clear as possible what the child is to expect if he or
she performs the undesirable behaviour.
Make it very clear what the undesirable behaviour is. It is not enough
to say, "Your room is messy." Messy should be specified in terms of exactly
what is meant: "You’ve left dirty clothes on the floor, dirty plates
on your desk, and your bed is not made."
Once you have stated your position and the child attacks that position,
do not keep defending yourself. Just restate the position once more and then
stop responding to the attacks.
Remember that your behaviour serves as a model for your children’s
If one of you is disciplining a child and the other enters the room,
other person should not step in on the argument in progress.
Reward desirable behaviour as much as possible by verbal praise, touch
or something tangible such as a toy, food or money.
Both of you should have an equal share in the responsibility of discipline
as much as possible.
The "3 Fs" of Positive Parenting
Discipline should be:
Firm: Consequences should be clearly stated and then adhered to when
the inappropriate behaviour occurs.
Fair: The punishment should fit the crime. Also in the case of recurring
behaviour, consequences should be stated in advance so the child knows what
to expect. Harsh punishment is not necessary. Using a simple Time Out can
be effective when it is used consistently every time the behaviour occurs.
Also, use of reward for a period of time like part of a day or a whole day
when no Time Outs or maybe only one Time Out is received.
Friendly: Use a friendly but firm communication style when letting
a child know they have behaved inappropriately and let them know they will
receive the "agreed upon" consequence. Encourage them to try to remember
what they should do instead to avoid future consequences. Work at "catching
them being good" and praise them for appropriate behaviour.
This article was written by Dr. Robert Myers and originally
appeared in volume 3, number 2 of the
Newsletter, developed by psychologist and social worker Dr. Any Gill.