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Quick reference medical handouts used by Pediatric offices


I have a grandson who is almost 4 years old. He has lived most of his life with me. The parents have joint custody but I have him full time. I am having problems when his mother visits with him. When he returns to my house he’s very bossy and tells me things like my house isn't good enough and his mommy said to run over me with his toys. I have talked to her about this but she denies it. I tried telling her it only hurts him but she doesn't care. What can I do as a grandparent?
    
We congratulate you because it sounds as if you are offering your grandson a life which might not otherwise be available to him. On the other hand, our heart goes out to you because it’s evident you have taken on the very difficult, obviously often thankless, job of being a parent to your grandson and trying to manage his mother's apparently selfish, disruptive involvement with him.

We don't know the nature of your legal relationship to your grandson. Are you the legal guardian? Is your relationship only that of grandparent? How far you can go in keeping your daughter from being disruptive or keeping her away from your grandson depends on the answers to these questions. We urge you to consult with a lawyer who specializes in Family Law to find out your rights and obligations or the limits to what can be done.

We also recommend that you consult with a psychologist specializing in family issues who can advise you about ways to manage your grandson's behavior more effectively under the circumstances. The issues sound so complex that we are reluctant to make specific recommendations but a psychologist with more information about the family situation should really help. Who knows, maybe your daughter will participate in the counseling and real changes might take place. Having your daughter interact more regularly, honestly and positively with you and her son would be ideal.

 

As a reminder, this information should not be relied on as medical advice and is not intended to replace the advice of your child’s pediatrician. Please read our full disclaimer.

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